I remember my father told me that I was "angry." I took it personal at first, but he was right. I was angry at him because he didn't act the way I wanted him to when Amaya was diagnosed. I was mad at my 3 youngest sisters because I felt they were treated better than I was growing up. And yet, none of them did anything to hurt me. My expectations were higher for others than they were for myself. I wanted people to treat me better than I treated them, as if the world owed me something for my background. Since I didn't like her mother, I was upset with my eldest daughter. But that wasn't fair because she didn't choose her parents. My students wouldn't I would get mad at my wife since I thought she should act a certain way. I was mad at my daughter's cancer and how it made things so difficult.
I would get mad at friends because they wouldn't keep in contact with me. The crazy part is that I wouldn't stay in contact with them. So, how could I get mad at others when I didn't do my part. I would be upset that I didn't have enough $ for the material items I wanted to buy. When I really didn't need the items in the first place. I thought they would make me happy. The items only made me happy for a short while. Material items aren't what makes you happy. Only I can make myself happy, with the help of getting in touch with my best self and God. The reason I'm writing this down is to help with my therapy. I finally figured this all out....a few months ago. I'm 44 right now, and God has helped me see the error in my ways. I wasted so much time begin angry at everyone instead of understanding that my choices put me where I am in my life. Not my dad, sisters, wife, kids, friends,......it's my choices. I was put on this Earth to be peaceful and make it a better place. I wasn't put here to be angry and lonely. I was put here to LOVE and BE LOVED! So I have joined Happify, Happier, Gratitude Daily, Pastor Osteen's and Warren's pages in order to help with my journey. On Facebook and Twitter, my posts are as positive as I can make them in order to spread around love to my friends and family.
http://24hoursofhappy.com/
