Cancer has changed me so much. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me because unlike Amaya, I had a choice. I chose wrong. I seem to choose wrong a lot when it comes to my attitude. I let cancer make me angry & steal my joy. I stole other people's joy as well. I let it make me worry. Before we do anything we think of cancer first. Lets go on vacation...no we need to make sure we have money in case something happens. No, we cant, Ive got to go to work to Try to make some more money for medical bills. Let's go out of town.....no we don't want to miss time with Amaya. It's all we think about....cancer & if she will make it. Everyday it's on our minds. The problem is, we don't enjoy our moments because we cloud it all up with cancer. I've lost contact with family being angry all the time. Don't be like me & miss out on so many moments worrying about what you can't control. Don't let life stress you so much that you can't enjoy life. Tell the people you love how you feel every day, whether they are far or near. yes, stop & smell the roses. Enjoy life. Find your joy & keep it no matter the situation. It will be hard, but I'm sure it will be worth it.
I will never stop hoping for a cure and a miracle. No one knows what the future holds. But I will stop the anger & worrying. I will treat the people I care about better. I will listen to Fresh Radio. I will find my passion again & do great things.
