I think the reason I need to blog is because I'm angry. Always angry. About almost everything. For example, too little rain has made my grass die, cookies make you fat even though they taste good (why couldn't brussel sprouts make you fat, they are gross), there isn't a magic pill to lose weight, my neighbors chickens run in my yard, and I need a new car because my old one is getting up there in miles. But seriously I think the main reason I'm angry is that my daughter has cancer. It is a part of our lives every day. So like the line says in the Public Enemy song I do think, "I gotta right to be hostile!" It's not like a cold that we can make go away or a boo boo that a band-aid can fix. We've seen so many kids die from this disease that it can get too you at times. Megan, Nina, Sam, Anthony, Tommy, Payton, and so many more have passed away. Then there's Jose', Averi, Jake, Sarah, Andrew, Declan and others that will have to poked and prodded for the rest of their lives. It makes no sense to me that kids should have to go through this mess. They haven't been able to live and enjoy life. Their parents won't be able to see their first dates, marriages, graduations, and children. That just doesn't seem fair to me. When my own daughter does something crazy is that my parenting or is it the chemo brain? I just can't tell. I love her to death, but sometimes she drives me batty!
It's really hard to blog and feed my son at the same time. At one month I was shooting 3's and he can't even hold his bottle.
My life isn't all bad though. I have a wife that I've been married to for almost 12 years (August 9, 1997), an old car that still runs (and has a cassette tape deck and I have a LOT OF TAPES), a beautiful 16 year old daughter, a newborn son, great family and friends, and a job I enjoy doing. I don't just say that. I like my job and the people I work with. When my daughter was first diagnosed they were there for me and my family. And when I do something to raise money they help as well. My wife Brenda deserves a medal for putting up with me for so long since I am angry all the time. I have also met some wonderful people at CHKD. Nurses, Social Workers, Doctors, Security, and Families. The people I have trained with while with TNT have been great as well.
One of my missions in life is to help eradicate childhood Cancer by using the following sites:
http://www.alexslemonade.org/home
http://curechildhoodcancer.ning.com/
http://curesearch.org/
http://www.fightplga.org/foundation
http://www.curetoday.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/article.show/id/2/article_id/937
We have been blessed with my daughter being relatively healthy for 2 years. Also, the last few years, I have grown closer to God. I knew that I couldn't handle all this anger alone. God helps me relax and give all my worries and fears to him. It has worked more and more lately. So its not all bad. I think I need to blog to let me vent and talk about my day. And to ramble if I want to.
Please, pray for Jose' and his family. They were given some bad news last week. Also, pray for the fatcyclist and his family. His wife has cancer and its not going well.
http://www.fatcyclist.com/
http://www.caringbridge.org/joseandres
http://www.caringbridge.org/tommygosser
http://www.caringbridge.org/amayarose
http://www.paytonwright.org/
Today was an OK day. I went on a bike ride with members of the Peninsula Bicycle Association. It was a good ride. Then we went to Sam's Club. I was not happy since they said that they would have tons of samples and then the samples were not very good. That made me angry, but I did pick up some Alex's Lemonade Stand Lemonade since some of the money goes to help cure childhood cancer. I don't really drink lemonade, but the ladies of the house drink it. We went to lunch/dinner with Grandma Evelyn, Aunt Debbie, and Aunt Barbara. It was a good time as well. Aunt Debbie may move to Vegas! I hope so, that would be fun. Kai (my newborn son) has been an eating & bathroom machine again today. Wow, that's a lot of diapers. He also has baby acne. Do they have baby Proactiv?
Amaya, my 7 year old daughter/cancer survivor, had some good and bad moments as usual. At times she is a beautiful, caring little girl. Other times, she is the sister of Damian Omen. I hear the music when she does something crazy. He haw Damian, He haw Damian! My 16-year old daughter is out of town visiting family. That's enough for today. My son just threw up on me.
I guess he didn't like my jokes. OK, I forgive him, he just smiled at me.
